You will be very depressive if you think everything too seriously or too deep. This world is only a circus. We are all clowns. Try the best way to satisfy your all senses of your body and mind. Eat good food to satisfy your tounge. Listen good music to satify your ear. See good paints to satisty your eyes. Read good books to satisfy your soul. Find right guy to satisfy you in the bed. Hahaha. I don't expect others to understand me well. 'couse it is so damn difficult. It is fine that only me understand myself. Be your own soulmate. I can tell a lady with such delicate feeling like you. Not easy to find a person to be your soulmate. Sigh.