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  • 相约北美 / 移民留学 / 我的E文不怎么样，请E文高手审核一下我的Cover letter, 尤其是最后关于税单的一段。另外看看除了护照和存款证明，我的资料还缺什么。谢了 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 {1955} (#160666@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Sir/Madam,

    It's my pleasure to apply Canadian immigration. Canada is a very beautiful country and I always dream that someday I can live in it. I have been working at subsidiary companies of Compaq and Nortel, now my occupation is system specialist at HP. With these experiences, I can adapt Canadian culture and environment quickly. I am sure I can contribute to Canada if my application could be accepted.

    I have completed the application forms and other required documents placed in-order and list below:
    · Checklist
    · Self-Assessment Worksheet (my score is 71)
    · IMM0008 form and imm5406 form
    · Resume
    · Project list
    · Reference letters chopped with company’s officer seal
    · Business card of the person signing my reference letters
    · Photocopy and translation of my residential register form
    · Photocopy and translation of my ID card
    · Notarization of Birth, Marriage status, degree and graduation
    · Notarization of my working experience
    · Notarized certificates of no criminal conviction records
    · Photocopy of my offer letter from my recent company (English version)
    · Last month salary tax receipt and salary pay slip
    · 8 photos in envelop
    · Mailing labels with both English and Chinese

    I am very sorry that I provide only one monthly salary tax receipt. Now let me explain it to you. In original my salary tax was paid in a collective tax account in China, I can’t open my own tax account until Dec 2000 when I bought an apartment in Shanghai. According to Shanghai local finance policy, my salary is tax-free to the amount of the price of my apartment. The salary tax receipts are voucher of refund. I can provide my salary receipts with photocopies from Dec 2000 to you, and I will extremely appreciative if you accept these photocopies and return me these original tax receipts after verifying. After all each receipt means more than 1,200 RMB to me.

    Yours sincerely,

    XXX
    2001.8.9更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 把“my score is 71”写出来是否妥当？因为语言分和适应分是面试时移民官打的。 -fenger(枫儿); 2001-8-9 (#160771@0)
      • 谢了，关于税单那段觉得怎么样?有什么需要改动的地方？我的意思是税单我有，但是要退税用。你要我可以给你，但看完了请把原件寄回。觉得我写得清楚吗？ -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#160930@0)
        • Photocopy, what's the matter with you, doesn't want to pay 2 bux on photocopies? -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#160968@0)
          • sorry,您什么意思，看不懂，不好意思 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161036@0)
            • 你给他们税单复印件就可以了。 -pingle(pingle); 2001-8-9 (#161047@0)
            • 同志， 使用影印件可以嘛 -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#161050@0)
    • Very Chingish. Get rid of the story on the tax receipt. Nobody will be interested. Just present the copy if you are not able to present the original. Never say "Sorry" in a formal letter unless you are apologizing -wonton_soup(Wonton Soup); 2001-8-9 (#160963@0)
      • thanks -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#160967@0)
      • 大虾再给点指教啊！！ -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161031@0)
    • 语气不太合适. 这是BUSINESS CORRESPONDENCE, 要BRIEF, HIT THE POINT.不需要那些"客气" 和"表决心"的话(俺没恶意啊). 如果这是APPLICATION的话, 建议去掉第一段. 下面日期不对,要放上面,不是2001.8.7格式 -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-8-9 (#161039@0)
      • 这么说我这第一段和最后一段都要删调了，只留下一个材料清单了，是吗？日期要按照 day/month/year 来写，放在最上面，是吗？ -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161049@0)
        • 我认为是这样, 如果你需要说明税单的话, 另外写一封吧. CHECK LIST要简单, 象一本书的目录一样. 你是DIY申请移民递交材料吧? -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-8-9 (#161055@0)
          • 我是DIY,E文不好真惨 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161082@0)
        • AUGUST 7, 2001. 用这样的格式, 以免误会, 不知道是8月7日, 还是7月8日 -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-8-9 (#161058@0)
      • 語氣不對， @Now let me explain it to you@ 太攻擊性了， Also, there are quite a few minor grammarical mistakes, for instance the second sentence is beyond repair, mail me a copy if you want -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#161060@0)
        • 虎哥，已经发给你了，多谢多谢 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161079@0)
          • I have no email access here, will check it when I get home. -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#161132@0)
            • thanks -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161138@0)
    • 照你的意思, 帮你写了一份, 欢迎大家抛砖. -wonton_soup(Wonton Soup); 2001-8-9 {1588} (#161118@0)
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Canadian General Consulate
      111 TheirStreet.
      TheirTown, …..

      Aug. 9, 2001

      Dear Sir/Madam,

      Please accept my application for the immigration to Canada. Enclosed you should be able to find the completed application forms and other required documents. They are listed as follow:
      · Checklist
      · Self-Assessment Worksheet.
      · IMM0008 form and imm5406 form
      · Resume
      · Project list
      · Reference letters chopped with company’s officer seal
      · Business card of the person signing my reference letters
      · Photocopy and translation of my residential register form
      · Photocopy and translation of my ID card
      · Notarization of Birth, Marriage status, degree and graduation
      · Notarization of my working experience
      · Notarized certificates of no criminal conviction records
      · Photocopy of my offer letter from my recent company (English version)
      · Last month salary tax receipt and salary pay slip
      · 8 photos in envelop
      · Mailing labels with both English and Chinese

      Currently I am working full time as a system specialist at HP China. With my previous working experience at subsidiary companies of Compaq and Nortel as system engineer, I would consider myself very experienced professional in the IT field. Canada is a free country that I’ve been dreaming for long. I strongly believe that my professional skill will be of great benefit to Canada, as well as making me a better personal future.

      ( Nobody would be interested in your tax receipt story, just omit that, photocopies of the tax receipts should be OK)


      Yours sincerely,

      XXX更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 汤哥，真不知该怎么感谢你才好。 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161126@0)
      • I say put the tax receipt stuff on, it doesn't hurt, also, you can't use abbreviation in official documents, Hewlett Packard China -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#161136@0)
      • 这篇写得还不错！ -guest:stacky; 2001-8-12 {4} (#164492@0)
        如题
    • BTW, 我觉得你的英文不错, 能表达清楚. 至于要象NATIVE SPEAKER那样地道的话, 要等你过来后慢慢FINE TUNE. -dropoutinmiami(东北的饺子); 2001-8-9 (#161162@0)
      • 谢谢饺子哥鼓励，交了表之后，一定苦练英语，争取考好雅思 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161164@0)
        • 饺子什么时候成了哥. -guest:; 2001-8-9 (#161197@0)
          • 饺子难道是PLMM? -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-9 (#161636@0)
      • Actually if you drafted the original letter yourself then it's pretty good, -slimpiggy(瘦猪犹如插翅虎); 2001-8-9 (#161195@0)
        • 是我写的，谢谢鼓励 -xiaoliu(刘队长); 2001-8-10 (#161809@0)
    • 口水话太多，典型的Chinglish expression. -guest:stacky; 2001-8-12 {4} (#164486@0)
      如题
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