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  • 枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 各位JJMM, 我想问一下你们在工作中,有没有遇到那种特别odd的男同事.有一次,在厨房遇到一个男同事,那时候我正好想转到他们team里 -guest:; 2001-8-31 {2195} (#186151@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛他就和和我聊了一些有关的话题,并邀我中午一起吃饭,好好聊.我就答应他了. 因为我的英语根本都没有好到可以和人聊天的地步,所以吃饭是他讲我听而已.

    没想道,他从此就开始不断地出花样,一会儿邀我看电影,一会儿去跳舞.我当然都没有答应.但因为是同事,还是没有和他真的撕破脸皮.看着他越来越变本加厉,我也就越来越不客气.但是今天,在好久没来烦我之后,他又来ICQ我,这是纪录:
    E 8/31/01 9:47 AM where are you going for lunch today?

    S 8/31/01 9:47 AM I took lunch today.

    E 8/31/01 9:55 AM I would like to talk to you some time.

    S 8/31/01 9:56 AM Why? I am in a very good mood.

    E 8/31/01 9:57 AM Don't leave me any chance, aren't you?

    S 8/31/01 9:57 AM What you mean Chance?

    E 8/31/01 9:58 AM You think that I can bring you only in bad
    mood, isn't it?

    S 8/31/01 10:01 AM No, I do not want to think more. I was scared.
    I do not want to hurt somebody, this is why I
    still talk with you.In fact, I feel really
    boring for this situation.

    E 8/31/01 10:05 AM OK, I will not insist.

    S 8/31/01 10:08 AM Actually, I feel strange for you. You have a
    nice family, nice friends, why you still want
    more? Do you still have energy to play more?
    Like playing with fire, you will be hurt.
    Forgive my frankness.

    E 8/31/01 10:09 AM S, I think you do the same. Don't play
    with me like I am a kid. But everything we do
    we just ended up in sterile discussion. I have
    to record a demo now so I will not be able to
    talk more.
    我觉得自己非常委屈,我根本就没有和他有过任何沾染! 你们觉得呢?我真的发誓,从来从来没有惹过这个人.他自己在以前的公司就有sex harassment的纪录,这个我们的VP也知道的.你们想我要不要去告诉HR的人呢?在公司培训中,HR说过这一点. 我知道我这个人有时候是不够果断,拖泥带水,在这种问题上是应该很果断地让他滚开的.是不是?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 试着记下你们每次ICQ的对话, 如果他真的很过分, 就以此为证据告他. -zjoy(Joy); 2001-8-31 (#186174@0)
    • 你回答的太客气了。让他觉的有机可成，至少你的但惊受怕，会让他很享受。 -tropicalfish(恐龙); 2001-8-31 (#186192@0)
      • He didn't do anything wrong. And a girl would better be nice, friendly, and firm, not harsh, hehe. -guest:; 2001-9-1 (#186830@0)
        • i'm nice. But, if I smile, men will be scared. :PP -tropicalfish(恐龙); 2001-9-1 (#186833@0)
          • no kidding, even the raptors in jurassic park III are cute-looking and very loving. -guest:; 2001-9-1 (#186839@0)
    • You should be polite but very assertive. Chinese people don't like to say No directly, but here it may mislead people. If he is harrassing you, don't back up. Talk to HR -guest:; 2001-8-31 (#186213@0)
    • You don't have to be rude to get away from him. -odo(odo); 2001-8-31 {244} (#186217@0)
      Just tell him you only want to have a professinal relationship with him. Alway keep the converstion in business. Don't talk about anything else. Be polite but not friendly. then if he do anything cross the line, you can let your manager know.
    • I really don't understand. You said HR had already told you that he had sex harassment in his previous company, why you still went out lunch with him? -guest:Don't understand; 2001-8-31 (#186440@0)
    • 苍蝇不叮无缝的蛋 -guest:haha; 2001-8-31 (#186489@0)
      • yes,agree -guest:; 2001-8-31 (#186491@0)
        • 呵呵，我也有同感。因为，她提到。。。 -guest:guest; 2001-8-31 (#186721@0)
    • 私人对话，没事不要到处贴啦。 -doors(道士); 2001-8-31 (#186496@0)
    • 如果他对你有语言或行为上的冒犯, 是你感到不适, 你可以认为是Harassment. 详细内容请进: -rollar(Rollor); 2001-8-31 {924} (#186707@0)
      Harassment 通常与性有关，但也可以与性无关。

      Sexual Harassement 可以为异性性骚扰，也可以为同性。

      性骚扰既可以是行为上的侵犯，也可以是语言上、视觉上的侵犯。

      但是，由于文化背景的不同，不同的人对同一事务所感受到的侵犯是不同的。比如，有的人互相拥抱亲吻表示问候，我对此却无法忍受。因此，具体哪些行为或语言是性骚扰，哪些不是，没有一个统一的定义。

      所以，做为被侵犯人，当侵犯发生时，即当某人对你的行为、语言或向你展示的画面使你感到受侵犯时，你必须明确告诉对方，他正在对你造成侵犯。“What you are doing is considered as harassment to me。Please stop doing that。” 可以再加一句：“I mean it。”注意：你必须明确使用Harassment这个词，以免对方误解。

      如果对方对你的表述置之不理，继续对你进行骚扰，你现在可以向你的上司或人事部反映。他们应该采取一些措施。无论如何，在你报告性骚扰时间后，你不应该受到任何形式的排挤和打击报复。这些事情如果发生，最终可能会导致法庭解决，对公司的利益、形象不利。

      我不是专家，上述意见仅供参考。
      • 说的没错。 -checkme(checkme); 2001-9-1 (#186770@0)
    • So simple. Tell him to stop or you send complain to HR. HR would deal with him, hehe -bluespirt(聪聪); 2001-8-31 (#186727@0)
    • I can't see anything abnormal here. It's just two people's flirting. If you don't want it, say it straightly, otherwise, don't flirt(even you think you're indirectly refusing him). . -guest:; 2001-9-1 (#186828@0)
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