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  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 为什么在加拿大找对象男的比女的困难？ -clinux(C/Linux); 2001-10-16 {1200} (#226794@0)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛中国的男孩找对象一般还是局限在中国人的圈子里，而女孩这百花齐放。为什么男孩眼光这么“狭窄”呢？原因大概有以下几点：

    1。觉得还是国内的女孩好养。一般找妻子当然想白头到老，但洋人思想相对比较开放，弄不好赔了妇人又折兵。
    2。害怕买一送一。经常在街上都能看到20岁刚出头的窈窕少女携着一个能打酱油的儿子。找一个开过无数春的洋老婆可能装装糊涂也就过去了，如果还带着一大堆酱油瓶，还是挺恐怖的。
    3。怕贻笑大方。大部分男孩有的还是国内追女孩的经验，对着洋妞实在是“老鼠拉龟－－无处下手”，如果表错情了，可给祖国丢脸了。
    4。自卑心理（说得好听一点是自信心不足，其实这点是主要原因，为了让大家不要越看越没味道，故放在最后）。觉得洋女人要求高，有什么理由看上我们这种少数民族。或者在洋人面前话都说不清，气就短了3分。更别说怎么逗女孩开心了。

    123点先不表，光说说最后一点，给国人打打气。其实我觉得洋女人比洋男人更容易嫁给中国人。其一，从性别差异上说，女人在找对象时对人种的敏感度没有男人高，和中国女孩比男孩更容易找到外国人是一个道理。其二，
    洋女人的戒心没有中国女人的大，你请她看场电影，吃顿饭，她不会以为你别有用心，贴个帖子在BBS上问怎么办。其三，洋女人比较热情，甚至经常先和你打招呼，一来二去，很容易就熟悉了。只要你别自作清高，不理别人。总之，只要能过得了自己一关（指123点），找个洋妞作老婆恐怕比找中国女孩容易。更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 恩。分析的有几分道理！ -kevinxin(Kevinxin); 2001-10-16 (#226809@0)
      • 你去实践吧 -eglington(eglington); 2001-10-16 (#226827@0)
        • What eglinton ave meant was that he's already given up... :) by the way, it's east or west? :) -mocha(Mocha Java); 2001-10-16 (#226870@0)
          • It is not as easy as clinux thought. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227177@0)
        • 实践之后是困难还是不困难？ -susse(不鲜); 2001-10-16 (#226932@0)
          • 找工作够难吧，很多人不都找到了。即使暂时找不到得，一年半载后一般都没问题。为什么？凭一颗坚韧不拔，屡试屡败仍持之以恒的心。如果用这种精神的一半来经营爱情，别说一个白女人，仙女怕都要思凡了。 -clinux(C/Linux); 2001-10-17 (#227637@0)
            • Definitely not so easy. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-25 {720} (#236864@0)
              To find a white girl friend is much more difficult than to find a job.
              (Ironically, same difficult to find a Chinese girl friend if you are not
              rich enough because they are more pragmatical)

              To fit in whites, you need to have very good English and very good
              understanding of western culture. They are not so snobbish as Chinese
              girls. But it is difficult for us to cause their consideration, because
              we have little in common with respect to cultural background with them.

              For job you only need to have some relevant professional
              skills, which is not a big deal compared with the former.

              Any way, it is worth trying if you have opportunity. But
              do not expect too much on that. Especially for marriage.
              • Whenever we decided to immigrate, we have to prepare to learn the weston culture, be adapt to the weston culture. Many of the people here don't understand this and always try to hide in China town. -clinux(C/Linux); 2001-10-26 {236} (#237915@0)
                I think that is why many new immigrants do not feel happy. I am not saying that we should forget our Chinese culture. But it is the fact that we will go further away from our old culture and be melt into the weston culture step by step.
                • Your intention is good but ... -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-26 {1286} (#237969@0)
                  本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I am not an immigrant and not in China town but UWaterloo campus.
                  You are willing to go further away from your own background.
                  But the will is not equal to reality. You are branded with the
                  Chinese culture. You are willing to emerge yourself into North
                  American culture. It is not so easy. (Here I assume your English
                  is average, not the superstart with GRE > 2300 and TOEFL > 660,
                  and age greater than 25)

                  Somebody tells me that the age you get accustomed to the North American
                  culture is the age you arrive in North America times 2. It does make
                  sense.

                  You can make North American friends. first as ordinary friends. You will
                  find they are nice. But it is very hard to have them as your close
                  friends because you have very few common topic with them. During the part
                  and gathering, you can hardly join their talking because you can not
                  understand what they are talking well. So even if those white girls are
                  nice to you, do not expect much from them.

                  For Chinese girls, if they can find guys richer than you, they will not
                  have an eye on you. For white girls, if they can find many guys, including
                  whites, CBC, blacks, and even those from India, who can communicate with
                  them more efficiently, they will not put you into prior consideration.
                  Trust me.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • Many chinese girls waiting ..., you just don't see them. :) -wjiaca(枫华人); 2001-10-17 (#227139@0)
      • who? -lemondy(麋鹿); 2001-10-17 (#227151@0)
    • The most difficult thing is the language and culture difference. At least, if you can not understanding her colloquy and can not make her laugh, it is very embarrassing. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 {224} (#227155@0)
      So white girls are very suitable for temporary partners but not for wives.
      Their advantage is: if a Chinese girl dumps you, you have nothing left;
      if a white girl dumps you, it is nothing worse than taking one year's ESL.
      • But it worth trying because available Chinese girls are scarce here. Most of them are either u*ly or demanding. I would rather change to gay than pursue a girl of that sort. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227179@0)
        • so scary. I can bear other races to be gay, but not asian. -leedsyu(mimi); 2001-10-17 (#227195@0)
    • To be honest, i feel it is more difficult for Chinese woman to find a boyfriend or husband. -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227262@0)
      • r u kidding? -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227316@0)
      • It is easy to find a boyfriend, but hard to find a husband. -leedsyu(mimi); 2001-10-17 (#227321@0)
      • You got the point ! So few good Chinese guys here. And I never think white guys really wanna marry an Asian girl if he can find a good white girl. But if only for partner, different -wander2001(wander); 2001-10-17 (#227343@0)
        • Shoot! 你 把 这 里 一 大 帮 人 都 得 罪 完 了 。 -superguest(一枝狗尾巴花); 2001-10-17 (#227349@0)
          • sorry, i am not in toronto. i am in west canada. this is the feeling in west canada. (hehe...) -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227356@0)
          • don't misunderstand. I just show personal opinion, just like many guys said " no good girl here" haha, different criteria, nothing else -wander2001(wander); 2001-10-17 (#227361@0)
        • 夹缝中生存的中国女人（现在上班，简单写一点〕 -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 {332} (#227354@0)
          1。中西文化冲突－有关独立性
          我认为能够在加拿大生存的中国女人，在中国男人的眼里过于独立，而在本地人的眼里仍然不是一个adult woman。
          2。理想于现实的冲突
          找丈夫时过于实际，自己也不甘心，对方也不满意；过于浪漫，不考虑车子房子，可还得想想未来的孩子。作为一个女人，却要象一个男人一样打世界。
          3。现在上班，今天晚上好好体会体会，再继续。
          • 于我心有戚戚焉... -why(coffee); 2001-10-17 (#227357@0)
          • Oh, you really said my feeling. Hand// -wander2001(wander); 2001-10-17 (#227368@0)
          • 加拿大为新移民中的女性提供了很多工作机会,看你自己能不能很好利用. -outsider(outsider); 2001-10-17 (#227370@0)
            • such as??? -why(coffee); 2001-10-17 (#227372@0)
            • job is job, life is life, different -wander2001(wander); 2001-10-17 (#227373@0)
            • outsider is outsider!!! -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227374@0)
              • I am not a woman.It is lot more easy for a woman to find a good job. -outsider(outsider); 2001-10-17 (#227380@0)
                • outsider is outsider, woman is woman, job is job, husband is husband. are you a single man or a married man? ;-)), what kind of job do you mean. what kind of husband can you provide? -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227382@0)
                  • 我不得不说中文了! -outsider(outsider); 2001-10-17 {15} (#227388@0)
                    女子无财便是德!
                    • I would rather you say English. 英文中好象还中听点。你的英文还不至于好到能够显示你的idea。 -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227393@0)
                • 唉 唉 唉 ， 别 人 在 谈 纯 感 情 ， 你 扯 扯 就 扯 工 作 上 了 ， 真 没 劲 ， 怪 不 得 丫 头 们 都 找 老 外 了 ， 哈 。 。 。 -superguest(一枝狗尾巴花); 2001-10-17 (#227386@0)
                  • 还是你懂我们， -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227389@0)
                  • Because he is super. -leedsyu(mimi); 2001-10-17 (#227394@0)
            • Job is job. Partner is partner. A jobless Chinese female immigrant will have no difficulties in finding a white BF. For man, you are hopeless. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227395@0)
              • the problem is man prefer parter more than woman. woman prefer stable feeling and family and warmth. -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227399@0)
                • No great difference. For many Chinese female, stable feeling and warmth are synonym of material elements. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227402@0)
                  • My tip is: 1. looking for white girl in Canada. It is not easy but worth trying, when the probability to find a good Chinese GF is also 0.0001%. 2. looking for Chinese girl back in China. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 {88} (#227409@0)
                    Do not be cynical to those girls in Canada who date with non-Chinese. Just
                    forget them.
          • 第一点不太明白:为什么在本地人的眼里仍然不是一个adult woman?因为中国人看起来比实际年龄小?第二点,很多女人找丈夫时都有理想于现实的冲突,也需要找一个平衡点，这跟在哪里无关。 -fionah(fiona); 2001-10-17 (#227397@0)
            • breasts and hips too flat? -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227400@0)
              • look at you, then every people ( including man and woman) know the answer, why woman is more difficult to find an idea man. -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227406@0)
                • I am not meant to be offensive. Just state the physical properties. White girls are not perfect as well. They have heavy body hairs and smells. The problem is that too many Chinese women are racists and materialists. -marriner(marriner); 2001-10-17 (#227415@0)
            • i will write in detail after work. -lilyba(lily); 2001-10-17 (#227404@0)
            • 有一点\\奇怪，为什么“看”起来\多数人都反对 中国MM嫁外国GG呢？(要是你觉得GG说的不好，就理解成GHOSTGHOST 的简写好了。XIXI)，只是好奇，没有任何争论的意思。。。 -cocotea(可可茶); 2001-10-17 (#227547@0)
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