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  • 枫下拾英 / 心情随笔 / 单身母亲的问题 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 {324} (#378136@0)
    已经开始准备出发了，心里乱乱的。虽然不愿意面对现实，但心里不得不承认，出发之时将是婚姻结束之日，黯然神伤……

    请问，一个带着孩子的单身母亲在加拿大能有多大的机会再次建立家庭，找到自己和孩子的归宿？单身母亲在加拿大能得到什么样的社会福利和帮助，在哪里可以找到相关的政策和资料？

    我们是走向天堂还是走向地狱？一个人，好害怕！
    • 谁也不能告诉你到底有多大的机会再次建立家庭，因为这是可遇不可求的。重要的是你自己和孩子可以幸福快乐，无论是在哪里。:) -fionah(Fiona); 2002-2-23 (#378180@0)
      • 谢谢！ -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378206@0)
    • 真佩服你的勇气。单论单身母亲，加拿大还是比国内更适合，虽然一个人带孩子很难，听说有单身母亲奖学金，不过俺不了解。祝你好运。 -lazycat(沧海一笑); 2002-2-23 (#378207@0)
      • 一个人带孩子在哪儿都很难。我只想一切重新来过，重新开始。其实我看到这里有不少单身母亲，她们都很坚强，很勇敢，我非常佩服她们，希望自己也能象她们一样。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378221@0)
        • 勇敢点，只有你自己站起来，别人才能看见你。真是一个人带孩子生活也不是问题。我也是一个人带孩子，来了快八个月，有问题可以和我联络。一路顺利。 -sonne111(sonne); 2002-2-23 (#378271@0)
          • 谢谢，请查收你的邮件。我们保持联系吧。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378303@0)
    • 一个人带孩子来肯定是困难比较大的.如果孩子大一点还好.做好充分的思想准备吧,至少前半年不会感觉好的.运气好的话,也许会碰到一个爱你的人.祈求上帝保佑吧. -dolce(风中女子); 2002-2-23 (#378289@0)
      • 谢谢你！ -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378306@0)
        • 别客气,以后有什么事来这里说说,或者EMAIL联系都可以.毕竟好人还是很多的. -dolce(风中女子); 2002-2-23 (#378313@0)
          • 是，看到那么多好心人站出来讲话，心里非常感激，只恨不能一一致谢。我一直相信，rolia里好人占绝对多数。个别人，不足为奇！ -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378346@0)
            • 唉！你也不能怪别人有不同的想法，我就知道有人为了享受单身母亲的福利而假离婚的，如果自己身正，就不必怕影子斜．也不必反感别人有不同的想法．是不是？？ -3yyy(锅碗瓢盆铲1个都不能); 2002-2-24 (#378998@0)
              • 我也听说过。唉，没有办法。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 (#379223@0)
              • 你说的对，谢谢你的意见！我会自己努力的。最重要的是，我绝不允许自己为女儿树立一个懒堕的榜样，我相信言教不如身教。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 (#379226@0)
        • good luck to you, Just give you some difference opinion -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-23 (#378317@0)
    • 据说单身母亲在加拿大有很高的政府补助，据说有1000多块每月！不知具体情况，我想单身母亲应该在加拿大生活更容易些，这里很保护女士的！所以你放心大胆的来好了！ -naughtypig(皮皮猪吃饱乐); 2002-2-23 (#378336@0)
      • yes, welcome to Canada. We have a lot of cash to offer. just show government you are single mom -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-23 (#378349@0)
        • 你挺好的一个人，帮助我不少，干吗和人家孤儿寡母的过不去呀？多点同情心好啦，兄弟。。。：） -sunmetal(恋恋风尘); 2002-2-24 (#379330@0)
      • 这里还有一句那个疯人的话，建议斑竹把楼上这句也删掉！ -naughtypig(皮皮猪吃饱乐); 2002-2-24 (#379063@0)
        • hahha, funny. Come here and delete my post. you guys can not heat different opinion. But here is free country -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-24 (#379313@0)
      • Thank you very much. BTW, I like your name! :-) -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 (#379238@0)
        • :-) 豆子说的很对，我没有确切的证据就说了，的确不对。不过看得出，你现在最需要的是安慰和信心。既然中国给你留下伤心的回忆，就勇敢地来这里吧，开始新的生活。 -naughtypig(皮皮猪吃饱乐); 2002-2-25 (#379660@0)
      • 不了解情况就不要乱说。如果政府给不出1000多， 是不是由你给补齐？ -two_dou(两颗豆子); 2002-2-24 {454} (#379380@0)
        据我所知，政府不会因为你是单身母亲就给你钱， 只是单身母亲比同等的双亲家庭多一点优惠， 比如孩子的牛奶金高一点，报税的时候少交点税等。
        此外， 政府对单身母亲和单身父亲的政策是一样的。 只是因为夫妻双方离婚后，孩子多半跟母亲，所以， 单身母亲远比单身父亲多， 就显得政府对单身母亲特别照顾。
        最后， 对那些害怕政府把自己的税金给单身母亲的人说句话：即使没有这些单身母亲， 你的税钱也不会减少，而且， 等这些孩子长大了， 他们也许要交更多的税来养活你们这些老不死的
        • He/she has given me so much comfort and encouragement, which is as important as money itself. Also, thank for your kind concern! -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-25 (#379645@0)
        • 也是，谢谢你的提醒。不过加拿大的福利的确好些！实在生活不下去了，可以领救济金。反正不会一辈子这样，找到工作了自然还会为社会再做贡献的！ -naughtypig(皮皮猪吃饱乐); 2002-2-25 (#379661@0)
    • 加拿大移民法里面有有关妇女儿童保护的条例，我记得看过，如果我找到了在告诉你或给你发过去 -111111(快乐老家); 2002-2-23 (#378343@0)
      • 谢谢你！希望不要耽误你太多时间！ -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-23 (#378368@0)
    • 谢谢大家的关爱！我的意思全让一颗老鼠屎给弄拧了。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 {489} (#378432@0)
      本来是想问问大家我应该如何面对未来的生活，希望大家给我一些建议。结果由于个别老鼠屎的干扰，这个贴子成了一个争论的话题。这不是我的本意。

      我不想向任何人解释，我是否要躺在福利上了此一生，我也没有必要向谁发誓我会怎样怎样。我只知道，中国的古训是：滴水之恩，当涌泉相报。对 rolia 上的好人，这句话是适用的。

      值得欣慰的是，rolia 上面永远是邪不压正，永远有很多热心善良的朋友愿意帮助别人，分享自己的经验。我很感动！在不能谋面的网络世界里，我感受到大家的关心和正义的力量。

      谢谢一切帮助我的人。
      • 这里好人非常多，我离婚的前后受到好多朋友的帮助，但是也有个别极为变态的人，每个人的帖子他们都冷嘲热讽，大概是在加拿大受到太多刺激了，呵呵，别搭理这些人渣 -sunmetal(恋恋风尘); 2002-2-24 (#379323@0)
        • I want to thank every kind person who helps me and am learning to ignore people who are not so... Thank you for your encouragement. -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-25 (#379643@0)
    • 在加拿大华人单身男女比例严重失调，大把优秀的男人呢，呵呵，你尽可以随意挑选，随便在这里发一个帖子就可以了，不过慎重。。。不要匆忙投入另一场痛苦的婚姻。。。好运 -sunmetal(恋恋风尘); 2002-2-24 (#378508@0)
      • Thank you for your kind suggestion. I guess there will be a long way for me to go. I will do my best and win people's respect. -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 (#379235@0)
      • 没有那么严重，加拿大单身中国女孩也很多，但在网上跳的当然单身男多点。 -stinky(funky); 2002-2-24 {282} (#379255@0)
        另外我认识的单身男人，一般就是在本地找不到合适的女人，也会回国去找个年轻漂亮的老婆回来，易如反掌，我实在想不出他们有什么理由去找一个带着孩子的单身母亲。所以我觉得加华的选择只可能在离过婚有小孩，年龄大一些的中国男人身上，但这种中国男人，好象很少很少，他们中很多也回国娶了年轻小姑娘。
        • 适当的安慰她一下吧？何况我就认识好几个单身的男人呢。。。大家都不容易，何必为难她呢？帮不了她，给她一点希望也好。。。 -sunmetal(恋恋风尘); 2002-2-24 (#379327@0)
        • 老弟你的用词比较讲究，跳这个词用得好，哈哈。。。。~~~其实我也支持你的观点，但是总要安慰她一下吗！我这次回国，也找了几个21的，哈哈。。~~~ -sunmetal(恋恋风尘); 2002-2-24 (#379359@0)
          • Thanks! :-) -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-25 (#379646@0)
        • 看了这么多贴子，心里想开了许多。有这么多的好人关心我，给我出主意，我也就变得不那么悲观了。大家说得都有道理，我想一切随缘吧。也许，最好的办法是全力保住现在的婚姻。 -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-25 (#379647@0)
          • haha. See what I said helped you fix your problem in China. You should appreciate my opinion. -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-25 (#379857@0)
          • That's the right thinking. Keep in touch with Roila people. We'll care about you all the time. All the best. -wxz(我爱我家); 2002-2-25 (#380189@0)
    • Life will go on, but you have to get prepared for all the difficulties you are going to face immediately after your landing. In my opinion, . -feather(Allen); 2002-2-24 {300} (#378811@0)
      Life will go on, but you have to get prepared for all the difficulties you are going to face immediately after your landing. In my opinion, at least you have to find a very nice landlord. Also your child may ask for something you can not afford currently. Just try to bring as much money as possible.
      • Thank you very much indeed. In fact, I will try till the last minute to give the best arrangement for my daughter. -jiahua(加华); 2002-2-24 (#379228@0)
        • nooooooo, We do not need you to spend your money in Canada. Just come, we have a lot of money to offer.haha -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-24 (#379331@0)
    • 用我房东的话说， 在加拿大的八年， 是她一生最不开心的八年。 八年前， 38岁的她带着10岁的儿子移民加拿大。 -two_dou(两颗豆子); 2002-2-24 (#379341@0)
      • 一个人一个命儿，不同人也有不同的命儿的！ -naughtypig(皮皮猪吃饱乐); 2002-2-25 (#379662@0)
        • 加华 will be lucky. She is already looking for man before she come to canada. I believe she did not divorce yet. Woman... -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-25 (#379664@0)
          • 你说得很对!他还不是单身妈妈,她以前的帖子说的很明白.我昨晚贴得一贴被删了,说什么好呢! -3yyy(锅碗瓢盆铲1个都不能); 2002-2-25 (#379680@0)
            • they deleted at least 10 my posted messages. What is a shame -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-25 (#379684@0)
            • I feel sorry for her difficult situation, but I just don't understand her. right now, she has not divorced but she thinks about seting up a new family now..... So I don't know what to say..... -ltf(老屠夫); 2002-2-25 (#379867@0)
              • 冰冻三尺非一日之寒。婚姻没有结束，并不等于感情没有结束。有时就算感情已经结束了，当事人也不一定愿意去面对它，特别是在这种移民搬迁的时候，让地理距离和时间来慢慢了结好像更容易接受。 -fionah(Fiona); 2002-2-25 {68} (#379895@0)
                另外，因为对陌生地方和未来的恐惧，希望能有个依靠的愿望也是情理之中。
                • I agree with you. But.. -ltf(老屠夫); 2002-2-25 {661} (#380323@0)
                  I agree with you. You are very kind girl. And I understand her situation and feeling in some sense. But do you feel really good when one woman she is still bound by marriage and try to keep it, in the meantime, seeking opportunity and possibility to set up new family? I should say, we think about this sort of matter in heart. But when speaking out, it's a little bit awful for any marriage. Can you image her husband's feeling if he knows that? Maybe I am sort of "fake gentleman" and not open-minded. Anyway, I admire her courage and good luck for her. It's very difficult for one young mother taking care of her daughter alone in China or in in Canada.
    • You can get more benefits as a single mother in Canada comparison with China under jobless situation. But -huayu(huayu); 2002-2-25 {826} (#379960@0)
      it is really hard for you to rebuild a new family because there are the following reasons:
      1)There are few environments to know many men depending on youself, and not like in China, there are many warm-heart matchmakers who would like to find some persons for you. This is very important for a divorced woman or man. Many people don't care each other, especially for her/his privacy(Marriage) in Canada.
      2)I have 4 friends who are divorced men and have lived here for a long time, but they all don't want to marry with women who are more than 30 years old although they are all more than 34 years old. They are looking for young and beautiful girls as their wifes. 3 of them already remarriaged right now. They found their wifes in China.

      I just tell you the truth, and conside your family carefully.
      Good luck to you!
      • That is exactly what I want her to know. 50 -60yrs men are married with 20-30yrs girls. If you divorced and have kids, it is almost impossible to find a young man here. -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-25 {263} (#380336@0)
        That is exactly what I want her to know. 50 -60 men are married with 20-30 girls. If you divorced and have kids, it is almost impossible to find a young man here. Actually my friend asked me help her to find a man to marry. I did my best, but it is too difficult
    • 建议你改个ID, 这个咋一看上去象 "假话". (No offence) -clinux(C/Linux); 2002-2-25 (#380358@0)
      • sorry, No -iamliar(Wu_Zheng); 2002-2-25 (#380676@0)
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