本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Hi, I am a woman so what I am saying here is from a woman's perspective, also as an outsider.
You are tangled in this mess so you cannot see things clearly and likely you only see what you want to see - the beautified feeling of love and the illusion of his so-called love. Some facts are too harsh for you to accept so you are subconsciously holding on the feelings of love and deny the facts.
The facts from an outsider's eyes are, this man doesn't love you, and he doesn't love his wife either. He loves himself more than anyone else in the world. The feeling of guilt has kept him with his wife but cheated on her a the same time by having an affair with you. He feels good to possess you but doesn't want to take responsibility of being your man. So, forget this man, bury him in the deepest part of your heart and do not ever look back. Have an abortion and move on to a new life. There are plenty of good men out there who will take responsibility and be your man, only yours.
I have seen this type of story too many times happening among Chinese immigrants. I understand why it happened in the first place. But as a woman, you should do everything possible to avoid being the character in the story. It sounds beautify but deadly painful to be in one. Forget about the type of love that will fill your heart with tears. Real love brings joy to your life, not tears. Life is too short to waste on a man like him. Move on, sister. Before you know, life will be much better, and you will be surrounded by true love again and be able to smile again.
The only way for true love coming to you is to open your heart and forget this man. He doesn't deserve you and he doesn't deserve his wife either. He is hurting everyone, including his wife, his new baby, your unborn baby, and you. Only you can save yourself out of this mess, not his mercy of meeting you and his greedy heart for possessing two women in his life. You have to cut loose with the past and move on.
I know it's easy to say than be done. But only you can do it and you will be happy that you have done it when someday you look back again.
Don't let feelings blind you. What he has towards you is not true love - he is too selfish to deserve your feelings.
Take good care of yourself first. Only when you are truly happy, you can bring joy into others' life and your child's life. Giving birth to a child under this type of situation is not fair to the child. Would you want to be born without a father? I don't think so. You have to make hard choice for this unborn baby and avoid put him/her in a lifelong misery. You will have another baby someday with a man who truly loves you, or at least you will have true love with your man.
Life is a lot more than being a mother.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net