In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an elderly lady, a virgin and very proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to ensure that all arrangements were in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to finalise proper "final" arrangements.

Her specific instruction to the undertaker/local postal clerk was that her tombstone be engraved with following inscription:

"Born a virgin, Lived as a virgin, Died a virgin"

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.  A few days after the funeral  as the undertaker/local postal clerk went about to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone which she had selected was too small for the wordings that she had chosen He thought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.  For days, he agonized over the dilemma.  Finally his experience as a postal clerk allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.


The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows ...

"RETURNED UNOPENED"