本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Co-Workers,
As many of you probably know, tommorw is my last day. But before I leave,
I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct
pleasure it has been to type "Tommorow is my last day."
For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day
leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please
know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack
of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude
you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication
is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the
sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit
his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask
for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough
to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety
of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily
tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace
knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory."
That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10
hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory
scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other
within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on
the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my
personalized notes of farewell:
To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having
clearly labeled it with my name.
To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly
miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these "email
forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good
luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual
who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience
like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity
like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill
myself.
Very truly yours,
XXXX XXXXXXXX
PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden
5.30 tommorow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
As many of you probably know, tommorw is my last day. But before I leave,
I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct
pleasure it has been to type "Tommorow is my last day."
For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day
leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please
know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack
of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude
you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers: in an age where miscommunication
is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the
sheer magnitude of your misinformation. It takes a strong man to admit
his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.
Over the year and a half, you have taught me more than I could ever ask
for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough
to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety
of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily
tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace
knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "mostly satisfactory."
That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after even a 10
hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of mostly satisfactory
scotch.
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other
within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on
the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my
personalized notes of farewell:
To Caulfield: I will always remember sharing lunch with you, despite having
clearly labeled it with my name.
To Mairead: I will miss detecting your flatulence as much as you will clearly
miss walking past my cubicle to deliver it.
To Linda: Best wishes on your ongoing campaign to popularize these "email
forwards." I sincerely hope you receive that weekend full of good
luck, that hug from an old friend, and that baby for your dusty womb.
And finally, to Kat: you were right - I tested positive. We'll talk later.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the individual
who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience
like a sponge and soak it up like a good woman, because a job opportunity
like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill
myself.
Very truly yours,
XXXX XXXXXXXX
PS: I will be throwing myself a happy hour farewell party at the Oden
5.30 tommorow evening if anybody is interested in drinks!更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net