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I hate myself for adding sorrow to a lady I love. I thought I helped, as I wanted to, but now I don't know whether I actually did you more harm than good. While you said you forgive me, I still cannot forgive myself. I don't know what I can do to make it up for you, but I will say this much: my heart is now open for you - It is a place you can come any time, to rest or to seek help, to know anything you want, to take anything you desire, and to do anything you wish. You can shatter it, and it will bleed, but not revenge; you can desert it, and it will cry, but not close.
I don't know why a simple message, or even a single word, can lift me up toward heaven, or dump me down into hell. I could not help crying inside when I read the reply to my message. My heart shudders with sorrow and regret, yet it refuses to surrender to despair. Once it opened up, it cannot close again, for it now knows the reason why it survived for so long, and no matter how harsh the road ahead can be, it will endure all the suffering and beat on, for it only wants to give, not take, and it knows the joy of giving, and will live on so long as it can still give. When tear flows through my heart, it washes away bitterness and nurtures up strength, that's how it lives, and loves...
Do you mean I should not tell you how much I love you and want you, even though it is true? I hope you are not so cruel as not to even let me speak my mind, because I am at the mercy of you. Maybe this is the last message where I can still say something from the bottom of my heart, and if so, then all I want to say is: I love you - I love you with all my heart, no matter how much you may hurt it or even decide to crush it - it will bleed and die, yet still full of tender love for you
.…..With tears in my eyes and love in my heart.
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