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SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN:
1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"
3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette,
I just spilled my poutine".
4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
5. You drink pop, not soda.
6. This doesn't bother you at all.
7. You know what it means to be on pogey.
8. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"
9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
10. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
11. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, it's a cheap place to
travel with good cigars and no Americans.
12. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
13. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
14. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
15. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
16. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
17. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at
18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like
19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"
20. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
21. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
22. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions
23. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's
24. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
25. You know what a touque is.
26. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is
27. You know Toronto is not a province.
28. You never miss "Coach's Corner".
29. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"
30. You know who Ernie Coombs is.
31. You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".
32. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments,
including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast, Doctor", "You all
know I canna read a word..." and "Kanata".
33. You spend sleepless nights wondering if Peter Mansbridge and
Wendy Mesley will ever find again the blissful love they once knew.
34. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can
really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway
down your ass and the hair and three layers of skin is worn off the front
of your thighs from carrying your pocket money around). The new coin
should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger
pattie and have fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.
35. You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.
36. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.
37. You have been on Speaker's Corner.
38. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the
missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.
39. You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she
reads news on CBC.
40. You wonder idly if there is some government cover-up of a covert
operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from
British Columbia to California.
41. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.
42. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
43. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one
meter above the ground.
44. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6
pages for hockey.
45. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and
46. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
47. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in
48. You have never played croquinole.
49. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your
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