Your pyschology is interesting also. From what I can see, Caucasian people have two arms, two legs and wear slippers just like Chinese people. That you somehow think that anyone could derive power or status from being in their circle is both odd and unusual.
It is really time especially for new immigrants to stop seeing the world as us and them, Chinese and "laowai", black and white. This breaks down the wall of seperation between people and especially in your case help you get over the fear you have of being in a foreign culture with people who seem to move through life with greater ease than you evidently experience in life.
I normally charge $110 for this much advice, but in this case I offer it for free.
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