It's very good. I think..

ztech (ztech)
<本文发表于: 相约加拿大:枫下论坛 >
Rm.105 No.-24-2 Tong Guang Lane
Long Li Road
The People's Republic of China

September 20, 2001

The Canadian Embassy
19 Dong Zhi Men Wai Dajie
Chao Yang District
Beijing 100600
The People's Republic of China

Dear immigration officer:

[ This first paragraph is well written, a little emotion reads very good to me ]

I am a programmer and applying Canadian independent immigration together with my wife. Canada appeals to us the most, not only her fresh air, good living conditions or perfect welfare system, but also her advanced high technology and free personal development space. These to us are most important factors, and we believe the decision will change our life.

[ I only changed the grammar below, would suggest you to rewrite, don’t be so sure of what Canada needs, emphasize on what you can contribute to the society and your family development. No need to give a bio about how and why you choose to study computer. 2-year experience is a foundation, if you have a name for the company mention it. ]

My great interest in computer technology drove me to choose Computer Science in my university study and my career to engage. The 4-year academic background and 2-year professional experience for a large well-known software company has equipped me with the exact qualifications as a programmer. I think my major and my skill conform to the needs of the Canada society and benefit to Canada, as well as provides us a better future.

[ Please number your enclosure with numbered list, imagine how much work you can save for the officer ]

Enclosed, please find
· Fee Payment receipt
· Checklist
· Self-Assessment Worksheet.
· Imm0008 form, family composition form and Education & Employment form for my wife and me ? I
· Resume
· Detailed professional experience chopped with the company’s official seal
· Reference letter chopped with the company’s official seal
· Photos related to my previous job at Vanda.
· Information about the Vanda Corporation.
· Explanation letter about my current job status
· Certificate about the wrong birthday on my Bachelor’s diploma and degree certificates
· Copy of Hukou for my wife and I and all immediate family members
· Copy of ID card for my wife and I
· Notarization of Birth, Marriage status, Bachelor’s degree and diploma for my wife and I
· Notarized certificates of no criminal conviction records for my wife and I
· 8 photos of my wife and I
· Mailing labels with both English and Chinese

Best regards

PS:(Proof of funds and school transcripts will be handed in later when I come back to my school and get it)
<本文发表于: 相约加拿大:枫下论坛 >

2001-9-21 -04:00

回到话题: 这是我帮LG写的Cover letter, 七拼八凑的没什么把握, 能帮我们修改一下吗?十分感谢.

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