This is my TWE exercise, Please gave me some advice. I am very appreciate of all help.

chengduboy (卡卡都)
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Title: Some people think that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully. Other people believe that children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time. Which idea do you agree with? Give reasons for your choice.

Text:
No doubt, I agree whit the first idea that parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully, because there are too many benefits that outnumber its disadvantages not to choose it. But the second idea that children should decide for themselves how to spend their free time, on the other hand, has advantages no more than its disadvantages.

The most important benefit of the first idea is that the parents can ensure that the children’s activity is appropriate and benefic. To achieve the same effect, let children arrange for themselves their free time may be bring the results that children take part in some harmful activity such as drug, violence.

Another benefit of the first idea, which the second idea almost cannot achieve, is that provide some benefic practice in improving children’s disadvantages. And let children can be developed in various faculty.

Although the second idea also has its seemingly profound advantage of cultivating the children’s independence, it can only achieved conditionally because the premise is your children have very good capacity in self-mastery and the surrounding of him or her is favorable.

After understanding the reasoning above, it is quite safe now to say: choose the first idea which parents should plan their children’s leisure time carefully is a wise action.
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