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please excuse me for writing in English because my speed is so slow in Chinese.
I am not a greedy woman on assets. my dream is family stay together, happy and sad together, watch the kid growing up, go to view when we have vocation---actually this was my previous life. Now everything is disappear with his leaving for China from my life.
I feel sad today because he told me he wants to be an Academician in the future (before he came back China, I told him " you got everything you need now, think about your family's future" and he said yes yes yes. Only three months he changed his mind), which means my life is the same as I married with a man staying in prison whole life. Because once he got the position, there is no retirement age. Even if he won't arrive there, it is still a terrible idea for my family. It is very hard to do rearch and get results no matter in States or in China. He is very honest and old style (but he is not old).
I always act as a psychology physician in my friends' life. Now I become a patient. I feel so confused about the life and even asked myself hundreds times" be alive in the world for what?!"
I really have no idea about tomorrow.
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