Friday's joke - part two...

lumlumq (lumlum)
本文发表在 rolia.net/zh 相约加拿大网上社区枫下论坛
> In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed due to
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
> >
> > 1. On Sears hairdryer:
> > "Do not use while sleeping".
> > [Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
> >
> > 2. On a bag of Fritos:
> > "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside".
> > [Evidently, the shoplifter special]
> >
> > 3. On a bar of Dial soap:
> > "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> > [And that would be how...?]
> >
> > 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> > "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
> > [But it's *just* a suggestion]
> >
> > 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):
> > "Do not turn upside down".
> > [Oops, too late!]
> >
> > 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> > "Product will be hot after heating".
> > [As sure as night follows the day . . . ..]
> >
> > 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> > "Do not iron clothes on body".
> > [But wouldn't this save even more time?]
> >
> > 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
> > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
> > taking this medication".
> > [We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if
> > we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
> > forklifts.]
> >
> > 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> > "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
> > [One would hope]
> >
> > 10. On most brands of Christmas lights:
> > "For indoor or outdoor use only".
> > [As opposed to what?]
> >
> > 11. On a Japanese food processor:
> > "Not to be used for the other use".
> > [I gotta admit, I'm curious].
> >
> > 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> > "Warning: Contains nuts".
> > [NEWS FLASH]
> >
> > 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> > "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts."
> > [Step 3: Fly Delta]
> >
> > 14. On a child's Superman costume:
> > "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
> > [I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
> >
> > 15. On a Swedish chain saw:
> > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
> > [Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?.....Good grief!]
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(#29728@0)
2001-3-2 -05:00

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