Friday's funny stories....

lumlumq (lumlum)
<本文发表于: 相约加拿大:枫下论坛 >
> >When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my
> >three year old came into the room when I was just
> >getting ready to get into the shower. She said,
> >"Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes honey,
> >remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I
> >know," she replied, "but what is growing in your
> >butt?"
> >
> >When you THINK you have a bad day, remember
> >this one from a young mother..."I was taking a
> >shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
> >bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
> >Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I
> >ran for my camera and took a few shots.
> >They came out so well that I had copies made and
> >included one with each of our Christmas cards.
> >Days later, a relative called about the picture,
> >laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a
> >closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo
> >and was shocked to discover that in addition to my
> >son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror-
> >wearing nothing but a camera!"
> >
> >An acquaintance of mine who is a physician
> >told this story about her then-four-year-old
> >daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor
> >had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her
> >little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
> >Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter
> >wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child
> >spoke into the instrument:
> >Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?"
> >
> >A certain little girl, when asked her name,
> >would reply, "I'm Mr.Sugarbrown's daughter." Her
> >mother told her this was wrong, she must say,
> >"I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to
> >her in Sunday School and said,"Aren't you
> >Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I
> >thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
> >
> >A little girl asked her mother one day,
> >"Mom, can I go outside and play with the boys?"
> >Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the
> >boys, they're too rough. The little girl thought
> >about it for a few moments, and asked,
> >"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
> >
> >A boy had reached four without giving up
> >the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother
> >had tried everything from bribery, to reasoning
> >to painting it with lemon juice to discourage
> >the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her
> >son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb,
> >your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."
> >Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son
> >saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The
> >four-year-old considered her gravely for a
> >minute, then spoke to her saying,
> >"Uh-oh .. I know what you've been doing."
> >
> >A mother was teaching her 3-year-old the
> >Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime
> >she repeated it after her mother. One night she
> >said she was ready to solo. The mother listened
> >with pride as she carefully enunciated each word,
> >right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not
> >into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us
> >some e-mail, Amen."
> >
> >A Sunday school teacher asked her little children,
> >as they were on the way to church service, "And
> >why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
> >One bright little girl replied, "Because people
> >are sleeping."
> >
> >A little boy opened the big and old family
> >Bible. With fascination, he looked at the old pages
> >as he turned them.
> >Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked
> >up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf
> >from a tree that had been pressed in between the
> >pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called
> >out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother
> >asked. With astonishment in the young
> >boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit."
<本文发表于: 相约加拿大:枫下论坛 >

2001-3-9 -04:00

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