funny answering machine greetings

lumlumq (lumlum)
本文发表在 rolia.net/zh 相约加拿大网上社区枫下论坛
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.
>>>1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave
>>>your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
>>>2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're
>>>not here. So, leave a message.
>>>3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
>>>money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial
>>>aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends,
>>>you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of
>>>4. Hi. Now you say something.
>>>5. Hi! I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can
>>>talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
>>>6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
>>>7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a
>>>"sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
>>>8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator.
>>>Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one
>>>of these magnets.
>>>9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
>>>messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their
>>>carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not
>>>need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and
>>>number and they will get back to you.
>>>10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought
>>>recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and
>>>your reason for calling,! and I'll think about returning your call.
>>>11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave
>>>me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
>>>12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
>>>Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
>>>13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
>>>weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably
>>>aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
>>>14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
>>>Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
>>>15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right

>>>now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it
>>>up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a

>>>message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.!
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2001-3-21 -04:00
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