debugging love

sleeplessatvancouver (SleeplessAtVancouver)
本文发表在 rolia.net/zh 相约加拿大网上社区枫下论坛
I have to confess that, after 27 years, I still don't know much about what women want, and how they think...

It was about 3 months ago that I came back from a short vacation in China after a half-a-year not-so-successful career experience in Vancouver. Two days later she took the same flight and we met each other at my friend Rene - and her colleague - 's home.

Amy is not kind of very attractive girl at the first sight. But with time, she began to shine in my eyes. In the first month we spent time together mostly in threesome and it was wonderful. Stanley Park, Horsehoe Bay, Roxy, Malone's, and of course Starbucks... It's all about pure friendships. One month later when bidding farewell to Rene back to China in a resteraunt in YVR (they both work here for their company under work permit), Rene told me that she could feel from my eyes that I began to like Amy very much.

Both of us like music very much. My greatest hobby is collecting albums and she never turns off the radio even while sleeping. My favorite song is Sarah McLachlan's Angel, but I began to suspect if it's still my favorite after I introduced the song to Amy. She can listen to the same song repeatedly for more than two hours in my car after I parked my car at the doorway of her home for late night goodbye, and we had been in the same music even for longer time before that... My ears started to complain but I always acquiesced on her requests for another last time, and again and again.

I was always so good to her, and still very good. Some time I thought I was bedazzled because I have never been so patient to a girl. I started to learn how to cook delicious dishes for her and it paid very well, although time before I always took 'quick and dirty' solutions for dinners when facing the decision on whether more time in the kitchen or in the internet. Sometimes I cook and brought the meal to her office in late night if she worked overtime. Amy likes stars and beaches very much. So you could easily find us in Kitsilano or Jericho if you visited these place often at 1:00 am. - Not many like staying in such places in chilly late night with a not-so-strong nose, I guess. But I have to like it. Even I bought a star map so I could explain to her the difference between Ursa Major and Ursa Minor.

As you can see we are very good friends, and yes we are. We always have fun together and she agreed that she enjoyed to be with me. But that's it. Several times I asked Amy if we could be something further, she always refused me steadfastly. what I mean by steadfastly is that seemingly she doesn't want to leave any chance for me. I didn't feel very surprised but what I don't understand very well is that if it is possible for a girl to be with a boy 7 days a week and even from 10:am to 3:pm in weekends but never feel anything? For me, it's simply impossible because it's inevitable to love the one whom I spent so much time together with, whether she is pretty or not, lovely or not, smart or not... Otherwise I prefer to staying away from her.

Alway being taken as an excellent one, thought don't take it myself. Basically not a romantic person because I work in IT. If we met some problem in IT, normally we will use some tools to debug it. But for love, I could hardly find where the start point is and which environment variables to check. So please JJMM give me some hints and tell me what's likely wrong and how could I know if a girl likes me.
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2001-4-1 -04:00
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