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I have to admit I am having trouble in understanding you. I feel like I am fighting China Daily which always sounds hollow, meaningless, self-grandiose and repetitive.

At least, you are right about one thing: you are nothing like me. You don’t seem to have a clue as to what is going here which reminds me of another Chinese clown who was running a Ponzi scheme. I can’t help making fun of you. Under this post, I regard myself as a comedian and that role brings certain privileges. Someone will get hurt and that is not going to be me. Not happy? Sue me or keeping gluing yourself on to my posts ranting with your China Daily English. For God’s sake, say something I don’t know.
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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / My Instantaneous interpretation experience in Toronto
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛On Wednesday, one of my friends contacted me through e-mail asking me to work for two hours as an interpreter on Saturday. I took the offer without hesitation since I was quite desperate for money. The visiting group from China comprised of a mayor of a medium-sized city and his secretary. Only 2 days out of 15-day trip were assigned for business meetings. Rest of stops were fairly fancy, including Niagara Falls, Hawaii, Las Vegas etc. That was why there are only two persons in the group. Perfect for me – the interpreter of the day!


    Saturday, the business meeting was arranged in the lobby of the hotel where the mayor had checked in. I arrived about 20 minutes early and shook hands with the mayor and his secretary. 5 minutes before the meeting, the other side arrived - a group of three people, all looking like from somewhere in the Middle East. And they look strikingly familiar and I couldn’t remember where I knew them. Maybe the Iranian owners of the grocery store around corner? Anyway, after everyone sat down, I collected business cards from both sides and chose a couch between them so everyone could talk through me.


    Then the talk started. "This is the Mayor of XXX, XXX Economic and Technologic Task Force, Chair of Real Estate Reform Team, Chairman of XXX Education Reform Committee…” I read ceremoniously from the Mayor’s card.
    After introducing the mayor, then I stared at the Iranian’s card, realizing that I was looking at an incredibly long name with a few vows. I struggled to sound out his name “This is ha…this is ma…ma…this is mamaharamahr.”


    “Sorry for the long name, it is Mahrzamarih.” The Iranian corrected me politely with his thick accent.


    “Ok,” I smiled apologetically and tried to mimic his sound, “This is ma…ma…mamaharamahr. Prisident of TCG International Inc”.


    After introduction, the mayor deftly introduced his city “xxx is a medium-sized city, with a population of 500,000. With the wise leadership of Central Communist Party, xxx has achieved tremendous progress. Compared to 1985, coal production as increased 350% with a total output 354,000 tons…” I started to get really nervous because the numbers were most difficult part in an instantaneous interpretation. There was no way for me to remember all those numbers and after awkwardly wrote down first three numbers, I gave up. I really did not want to ask him to clarify, that would surely ruin my professional reputation. But I had to appear competent, at least get the talk going. So, without hesitation, I started recited numbers from my middle class text book, “China is beautiful and big country. She covers 960,000 square kilometres. She has 56 ethnic groups…” I stole a glimpse at the Iranian, who was smiling and nodding in acknowledgement.


    After hearing the introduction, the Iranian started his introductory part. But his accent was so strong, I barely understood him. It sounded like he went to somewhere in China with his daughter or doctor. I chose “doctor” because he looked pretty old. He said he had “three” or “tree” business established in “other “or “mother” country. Hey, this is Canada, so I chose “tree” as his business. He went on saying that he loved Chinese “food” or “foot”, I thought he was talking about Chinese massage. Anyway, his part also went smoothly, until he started numbers. That was when I was almost choked while taking a quick gulp of water. The Iranian said something like his business generated 400 units per month, or 400,000 units? I couldn’t make out which, but I chose larger number. Then I noticed the mayor straightened himself and watched me with great interest. I figured that he was probably thinking he had finally fished a big one and talking to an international business mogul.


    Now, with both sides focusing their attention on my mouth, I was very nervous, my mouth dry, sweat trickling down on my cheek, shirt totally drenched. But I simply couldn’t show I didn’t know what I was doing. So I soldered on, pretending calm and professional, nodding understandably now and then.


    The ordeal went on for another 30 minutes. To my horror and chagrin, I found the mayor growing increasingly excited and talkative. To sum up his talk and show his knowledge, he quoted a poem from Tang Dynasty! This idiot didn’t know it was almost impossible to interpret poems. I did not even know their Chinese meaning. I thought I was totally cooked this time. Then I started thinking my innocent kids. I needed to take this money home and build my reputation and get good things like this keep coming,right? I determined I could not afford to let the mayor doubt my competence. I had to do something…


    I knew I need to take my chance. So I gathered my thoughts, regained my composure, confidently looked around and started my interpretation “Mayor Huang, has a lovely daughter, only four years old.”
    “Uh!”, Iranians listened attentively, partly because that was probably the most humane thing he had heard the whole morning, partly because that implied the end of the torturing meeting.


    With all the attention on me, satisfied, I went on “Mayor Huang would like to read one of favorite songs of his daughter: Five little monkey jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head; Four little monkey jumping on the bed…”更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • How much did you make for your hard work?
      • It is quite embarrassing... 50 cents… and in Chinese currency…and unadjusted for China’s inflation. Sorry, I mean “yuan”, a bit slow at numbers.
        • Excellent. You now have better network you may need in the future :)
    • Oh my Jesus Lord ! How could you be so shockingly funny! I couldn't help laughing laughing laughing til that I got this tummy-ache....
    • Nice writing, very amusing. I guess both interpretation and translation are tough jobs.
    • very good and interesting
    • What you did was not professional at all. This is called lying. You get away with it once doesn't mean you can always suceed this way.
      • 我脚着介个不叫lying,应该叫随机应变。不过LZ此番够险的,要接受教训,万不能轻敌。
        • This is an outright lie. I don't see how he is 随机应变. As a translator, you cannot put words in others' mouth. Your job is to translate, not to put an opinion or add colors to the conversation.
          • Mayor Huang? Is...is that truly you? Still in Toronto? I am so sorry! But I can't "take words out of your mouth", no refund.
          • Agree. Obviously this guy has never been professionally trained as an interpreter. However, for some reason, he was brave enough to take on a task he was not and is still not competent with.
            What really makes him idiotic and laughable is that his bravery is progressing to the point where he starts to brag about the unprofessional and deceptive "interpretation" he did in the past.
            • You are rude, awkward and narcissistic. And your breath is terrible. Whatever you do, I am not going to date you. Get a life!
              • Your original post and the reaction to the comments that are not in your favor obviously tell a lot about your character.
                • +1
                • You don't know me at all. So please save you pathetic judgement which means nothing to me. If you want to learn English or show good you are at it. I don't have a problem with it. If you want a fight, you will get one. I never said I am good man.
                  • Unlike you, I am not obsessed in showing off anything here. But when I see someone bragging about things that I believe were wrongfully done, I usually post some comments if I
                    get a mintue. I can't care less whether my comments mean anything to anyone. This is what a democratic forum is all about. However, your reaction has been way more disgusting than your original post, which was only ignorant. Your messages have gone way off the mark and made you look like a ruffian now. Wise ones wouldn't go down that road.
                    • I have to admit I am having trouble in understanding you. I feel like I am fighting China Daily which always sounds hollow, meaningless, self-grandiose and repetitive.
                      At least, you are right about one thing: you are nothing like me. You don’t seem to have a clue as to what is going here which reminds me of another Chinese clown who was running a Ponzi scheme. I can’t help making fun of you. Under this post, I regard myself as a comedian and that role brings certain privileges. Someone will get hurt and that is not going to be me. Not happy? Sue me or keeping gluing yourself on to my posts ranting with your China Daily English. For God’s sake, say something I don’t know.
                      • Ok for the God's sake, I'll tell you something that you don't know: the difference between you and a comedian. A comedian makes jokes. You ARE a joke.
                        • Gents, I suggest you both stop here. You've already made your points clear; nothing will be new going further like this. Let's not hurt anyone's morale on this forum.
          • LZ was performing the task as an interpreter not a translator.
            • -1
    • Well written. XX years ago I had similar experience, being an interpreter between a U.S. professor (50+) and a countryside entrepreneur (30+). The entrepreneur, or 乡镇企业家, spent a quite amount of time talking about, "我们乡的土特产", or
      CPC's wise leadership. As the chances of co-operation were very very slim, I simply treated them as idiots.
    • Very funny. 应朋友邀做过很多次翻译,觉得一般都挺容易的,因为那些中国来的代表团根本就是走过场,常常主动要求缩短时间。不过数字真得当心,一般中型的代表团中总会有一个技术出身的,英语虽然不能做翻译,但大概还是能了解的。像你这样编故事真幸运了。
      • It's funny, but I believe it is somewhat fictional.
    • hahaha.... very funny but too dramatic to be true. see my experience before :)
    • There are 3 things that one needs to avoid during any interpretation or translation: Addition, Omission and Distortion. Not only did you fail to avoid all of them, but also you made things up--fabricated things.
      This is not something you want to brag about. It is a shame. Good luck with your career of interpretation.
      • I will let you sit in the front row in comedy shows and I will watch those comedians commit suicide after hearing your comments. You are my secret weapon, my machine-gun.
    • this is a funny story, but,
      the most attractive is that you said at first that the visiting group was comprised only two persons: mayor and his secretary. unfortunately, you forgot to tell us what it was going on for the two. being despaired.
      • Ok, I see where this is going. The problem is before I write about sex, I get aroused. And I have to go somewhere jerk it off and then I would completely lose interest and inspiration. It is one of “egg and chicken, which comes first” thing, you know.
        • 够直率。
    • Tele-conference with people from around the world could be very stressful, can't stop laughing about the name part, you made my day.