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你们有gay 的同事吗? 看看我的同事刚刚写的。

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Good Morning,

Tomorrow is “Bell Let’s Talk Day”.

I felt the need to send something out on this, especially because I myself sometimes find it a bit ironic when a large, powerful corporation with a seemingly “suck it up” attitude is leading a campaign that is so personal, private and emotional.
But this is probably the best product Bell delivers. It is, in my opinion, indeed that important. Whether every ground level employee or top level executive in our company actually personally agrees with that or not, doesn’t matter. The fact is, Bell is putting a lot of money into a good place. So kudos on that!

Mental Health is a sensitive issue. Even today, in 2014, it is still taboo in many places. Some people may still be embarrassed to say they are seeing a therapist. Some won’t even dare think of seeing one, because of what that might mean to themselves, let alone others. And that is why so many people (1 in every 5 Canadians!) end up dealing with bigger Mental Health issues… which by the way, if we have to measure in “corporate speak” isn’t very good for business either…

None of us are immune to mental illness or mental injuries or even just singular mental health scares. We just choose to ignore them. Just like some people choose to skip an annual physical, or to not get that little lump checked out. Denial is a mental tool, but sometimes it is also a mental enabler that we all deal with. Pretending we are just fine, doesn’t usually make the problem go away.

I personally went through my own tough time as a young adult, growing up gay and deep in the closet in the macho military Israeli culture, I couldn’t for the life of me see a future for me in this world. I was in a deep dark place. One of my close friends noticed and spoke to my mom. When she realized she was not able to get a word out of me, she and my dad scrambled to find me a therapist. They were terrified. They had no idea what was wrong. I was always doing so well in school and was surrounded by so many friends. But nobody knew what was really happening inside. They helped me find my way to an amazing therapist, who literally saved me by the skin of his teeth from taking my life.
I still look at myself in the mirror every now and then and need to pinch myself to realize how lucky I really am. I could have missed out on the amazing life I am living, with my amazing kids and husband. It took a good friend, loving parents and a good therapist to put me back on track to living the healthy, happy life I have today, over 20 years later…

This is why, as friends, as co-workers, we should feel responsible towards each other. And if we see anyone whom we think is having a hard time, we need to be sensitive to that. If we are close enough, we might want to reach out and ask if they would like to talk, or if everything is ok. We may find that sometimes an ear or a shoulder is all someone needs from us, to feel so much better.
And sometimes, we will find that it is way over our head. Please… don’t try to be a professional. If you feel someone you know needs help, urge them to get it from a professional. Trying to help on your own may do more damage than you know.

So back to this day – awareness is everything. Talking about it does make it better. It puts Mental Health on the table. It shows it is mainstream. It proves we all need the freedom to take care of our soul just as much as we take care of our bodies.

Managers get many requests from employees for absence due to dental, medical or other “socially accepted” appointments. How many of you managers out there receive “therapist appointment” requests? I know I never have.

The stigma is there. And our job as friends, family, co-workers… as leaders – is to make it go away.

So a big shout out to Bell for this day.

Support it. Post it proudly on your Facebook page. Celebrate it. Get the word out. Tomorrow, the person needing the support might be you.

“Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

Thanks and have a great day,更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 工作学习 / 事业与工作 / 你们有gay 的同事吗? 看看我的同事刚刚写的。
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Good Morning,

    Tomorrow is “Bell Let’s Talk Day”.

    I felt the need to send something out on this, especially because I myself sometimes find it a bit ironic when a large, powerful corporation with a seemingly “suck it up” attitude is leading a campaign that is so personal, private and emotional.
    But this is probably the best product Bell delivers. It is, in my opinion, indeed that important. Whether every ground level employee or top level executive in our company actually personally agrees with that or not, doesn’t matter. The fact is, Bell is putting a lot of money into a good place. So kudos on that!

    Mental Health is a sensitive issue. Even today, in 2014, it is still taboo in many places. Some people may still be embarrassed to say they are seeing a therapist. Some won’t even dare think of seeing one, because of what that might mean to themselves, let alone others. And that is why so many people (1 in every 5 Canadians!) end up dealing with bigger Mental Health issues… which by the way, if we have to measure in “corporate speak” isn’t very good for business either…

    None of us are immune to mental illness or mental injuries or even just singular mental health scares. We just choose to ignore them. Just like some people choose to skip an annual physical, or to not get that little lump checked out. Denial is a mental tool, but sometimes it is also a mental enabler that we all deal with. Pretending we are just fine, doesn’t usually make the problem go away.

    I personally went through my own tough time as a young adult, growing up gay and deep in the closet in the macho military Israeli culture, I couldn’t for the life of me see a future for me in this world. I was in a deep dark place. One of my close friends noticed and spoke to my mom. When she realized she was not able to get a word out of me, she and my dad scrambled to find me a therapist. They were terrified. They had no idea what was wrong. I was always doing so well in school and was surrounded by so many friends. But nobody knew what was really happening inside. They helped me find my way to an amazing therapist, who literally saved me by the skin of his teeth from taking my life.
    I still look at myself in the mirror every now and then and need to pinch myself to realize how lucky I really am. I could have missed out on the amazing life I am living, with my amazing kids and husband. It took a good friend, loving parents and a good therapist to put me back on track to living the healthy, happy life I have today, over 20 years later…

    This is why, as friends, as co-workers, we should feel responsible towards each other. And if we see anyone whom we think is having a hard time, we need to be sensitive to that. If we are close enough, we might want to reach out and ask if they would like to talk, or if everything is ok. We may find that sometimes an ear or a shoulder is all someone needs from us, to feel so much better.
    And sometimes, we will find that it is way over our head. Please… don’t try to be a professional. If you feel someone you know needs help, urge them to get it from a professional. Trying to help on your own may do more damage than you know.

    So back to this day – awareness is everything. Talking about it does make it better. It puts Mental Health on the table. It shows it is mainstream. It proves we all need the freedom to take care of our soul just as much as we take care of our bodies.

    Managers get many requests from employees for absence due to dental, medical or other “socially accepted” appointments. How many of you managers out there receive “therapist appointment” requests? I know I never have.

    The stigma is there. And our job as friends, family, co-workers… as leaders – is to make it go away.

    So a big shout out to Bell for this day.

    Support it. Post it proudly on your Facebook page. Celebrate it. Get the word out. Tomorrow, the person needing the support might be you.

    “Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

    Thanks and have a great day,更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 跟帖都没有一个就上了精华了,这是什么节奏
      • 版主的英文可见不一般, 我读完这个邮件花了老鼻子时间了。
        • 英文不好怎么天天写RFP啊?再说还要天天参加电话视频会议和给客户演示,还要给客户deliver solutions呢。
          猫哥,我说的没错吧?
          • 咱不是斑竹有很多年了
            • 你,
              介不斯让我下不来台吗?哈哈哈
      • LOL.
    • 这个要顶!
      • 我的前director是个女gay (husband), 她邀请大家去她家party, 一个下属直接说不去,因为Sunday要去church. 大概10年前的事了,那时候church是公开反对gay的,这个同事的推辞连我这个non-english都听的出来,gay的社会压力可见一斑。
        • 不去就是压力了?这谁压谁呀?干嘛不把这员工炒掉?
    • 一点没看懂,他/她是需要治疗什么?接受自己是gay,还是从gay变成非gay?
      • 这两者都不是容易的选择。
      • 他在支持Bell重视员工心理健康的活动。他现在已经不需要治疗,他跟他的老公很幸福 :)
    • Ding,be aware and care!
      • be aware 不容易啊,对另类有时候下意识的就歧视了。
    • Gay, 变性人,通通遇到过,不过,他她们无一例外工作能力和人品都很不错。
      • 我猜他们因为曾经是弱势群体遭受不少歧视的缘故吧,对人性有更细微的体察和感知,经历的比straight person 更多,再坚强的站起来,必定不俗。
        估计还有很多没有走出阴影,低调的试探着自己在社会上的立足点,默默的在探寻。。。否定,希望,痛苦,自卑,难以想象他们的感情经历。
        • 不俗当然不俗啦,有必要吗?练就绝世神功又如何?
    • 俺戴了老花镜也没有看见 gay 在哪里。
      • 那就换双光镜吧
      • are you serious? "ctrl + f “
        • 以后看文章看来要戴 ctrl-f 了
    • 写得挺好。各位嫌太长的就看最后一句就好了: Everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. 再看不懂就看这句:请尊重包括同性恋在内的所有人。
      在职场曾遇到过2个同性恋,treat them professionally 就好。

      一个gay喜欢打扮,和网友约会,同时接受不同男友奢侈礼物。我不喜欢这个人,就像不喜欢爱慕虚荣见异思迁的浅薄小女孩。但这不影响我们正常的工作往来。

      另一个lesbian,个性温婉,行为低调。很大方又似乎是不经意地拿出她的女性partner的照片给我们看。直到我离开那家公司,看来她和女友关系稳定。

      我不赞成同性恋,但可以理解每个人也许都在 fighting a battle。一个人忠贞地爱着另一人,关系稳定,不危害他人,别人无权指指点点。
      • 不知道我见过的人里有没有同性恋的, 但是在网上读过这样一句话, 一对男女可能会因为财富, 权力, 地位, 容貌,或是传宗接代等等理由而结婚, 而一对同性结婚的理由就只有一个: 爱情.
        • 这种话象是在歌颂 gay?
          • Homophobia
            • 刺哥词汇量真大,难怪酱油哥嫉妒
              • sour and sweat/sweet or sour and fake. ha ha ha
              • 刺哥原来的ID,貌似
        • 于千万人之中,遇见你要遇见的人。于千万年之中,时间无涯的荒野里,没有早一步,也没有迟一步,遇上了也只能轻轻地说一句:“哦,你也是GAY吗?
          你说,除了爱情还能有别的要求吗?
        • 一对gay可能会因为财富, 权力, 地位, 容貌,等等理由而结婚
          • 不太能想象, 几乎是将一个人的一生放在一条逆向行驶的道路上, 就为了财富, 权力, 地位, 容貌这些?
            • 没那么夸张,也就是屁股痒痒,说得好听是为了健康。以前越王勾贱。。。遇到吴王阖闾。。。
            • 逆向行驶? 没那么严重吧, 现在社会也很宽容了。 我觉得他们因爱结婚的更多些, 但是就如同男女之间婚姻有其他因素一样, 他们只不过是同性之间相互吸引, 其他方面也跟异性恋没什么太大不同。
        • 这些东西里最不靠谱,最昙花一现的也就是爱情,所有基佬换人和同时存在多重情人的比例极大
      • 觉得你挺矛盾的。“ 我不赞成同性恋”,这样说本身就是指指点点。
        • 没那么夸张,对事物有看法天经地义,没有看法才是不正常。我也不赞成同性恋,我想绝大多数人都不赞成同性恋,包括他(她)们自己。
          • 可是同性恋是可以因为众人的不赞同就消失的吗?我不否认时至今日有相当一部分人是主动选择了同性恋,然而同性恋的最初缘由是自然界的规律,虽然这个规律之影响了非常少的一部分群体,但是TA们有存在的理由。
            • 本人一己之见: 西方同性恋的问题已经不再是正常人对同性恋不宽容,而是同性恋对正常人不宽容。
    • 我觉得这篇文章很清楚地表达,谢谢公司的医疗支持制度,精神上的疾病不要隐讳,积极治疗,早治早康愈,不是么?
      • 戴上 ctrl+f 再读一遍
      • 主要是提倡大家对周围的同事在精神上的尊重跟关怀,每个人都在进行着一场不为人所知的心理战斗。
    • 好文。一定要顶。
    • 想起一个比较不歧视的笑话: "立法通过同性是可以结婚了,可男人终究是男人,你知道吗? 提起裤子不认帐是天性..."
    • 为啥给精华?因为是老外写了英文?因为是一个同性恋老外来ROLIA发表了作品? 这个活动收获很大,已经筹到了几百万加币,连美国著名的ELLEN SHOW的同性恋主持ELLEN都参加了。
    • Kudos on this article!
    • 我的中文翻译。
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛早上好,

      明天是贝尔的“让我们交谈日”。

      我觉得我有些话要说,尤其觉得悲哀的是,一个大型的极其有影响力的公司却需要强打精神去试图引领一个非常个体化,私人化而且情绪化的活动。但是这恐怕是迄今为止贝尔最好的产品了。在我看来,这是非常有必要的一个行为。至于上至高层下至平民老百姓是否真正理解这个运动的主旨倒并不重要。重要的是,贝尔正在为一项正确的决策投入资金。所以要为之喝彩!

      精神疾病是个很敏感的话题。即便是在今天,公元2014年,在很多地方这仍然是一个不能谈及的话题。有些人仍旧不好意思告诉别人他们在看精神理疗师。有些人根本就不敢去看理疗师,不说别人看不起他们,就连他们自己都看不起自己。所以这就是为什么很多人(五分之一的加拿大人)最后酿成了很大的精神问题。从企业的角度来说,对生产也会造成很不好的影响。

      没有人可以对精神疾病,精神创伤,或者一个简单的精神瑕疵免疫。我们只是选择性地忽略了它们。就像有些人回避每年一次的年检,或者不想去关心一个小小的顽疾一样。拒绝承认是个精神武器,但往往也给每个人造成了很多问题。因为装作没事并不能真正解决问题。

      我自己年轻的时候经历了很困难的一段时期。因为自小就是同性恋而且不敢对外宣布,我根本不知道在这个世上我还有没有希望。我的一个好朋友发现了并且告诉了我母亲。但当她发现根本从我这里套不出一句实话后,她跟我父亲决定要给我找个专业治疗师。他们怕死了,搞不清哪里出了错。因为我从小就是好学生,而且有很多朋友。不过他们谁也不知道我内心深处的故事。我父母给我找了个非常好的治疗师,他真的是活生生地从死神手里把我救了回来。直到现在我都会经常照照镜子,或者掐掐自己,不相信自己会有这么幸运。因为我极其幸运地同时拥有一个好朋友,一对好父母,还有一个好的专业治疗师,否则我不可能这么健康快乐地生活了20年,不可能有这么幸福的生活,不会有这么好的孩子跟丈夫。

      这就是为什么,作为一个朋友,一个同事,我们应该对彼此负责。如果我们看到谁有可能深陷困境就应该意识到可能有什么事发生了。如果我们跟当事人的关系足够亲密的话就应该去问问他们需不需要谈谈,或者问问他们是不是一切都好。其实有的时候有人聆听有人关怀就是他们最需要的。不过有的时候如果觉得事情很严重,超出我们可以帮助的范围,这个时候就不要充内行了。如果你觉得你认识的什么人需要找专业人士你应该鼓励他们马上去找。如果只是靠你自己帮助TA的话有的时候可能事情会更糟糕。

      回到这个活动,其实只要意识到了就是一切。公开交流真的可以让事情变得更好,可以让精神疾病成为一个公众话题,成为主流社会关注的话题。这说明了我们应该像关心身体健康一样关心我们的精神健康。

      经理们经常可以收到看牙医,看医生,或者别的普遍可以接受的请假理由。但是有多少经理收到过需要看精神理疗师的请假理由?我知道我自己从来没有收到过。

      歧视还是存在的。作为朋友,家人,同事,或者领导,我们有责任去除这些歧视。

      所以,要大声呼吁跟支持贝尔的行动。在你的Facebook上放上链接吧,庆祝它,把这个活动传扬出去。说不定明天需要帮助的就是你自己。

      “每个人都在进行一场不为人知的战斗。要仁慈。永远要。”

      谢谢!更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • 翻译得很好!鼓掌
        • 谢谢!第一次尝试,还是很生疏。
          • 修改后的中文翻译 - 关于贝尔发起的敞开心扉活动日
            本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛早上好,

            明天就是贝尔的“让我们敞开心扉”活动日了。

            我有些话不吐不快,因为尤其觉得可悲的是,一个极其有影响力的大公司却非要费劲儿地发起一个触及隐私且带有个体情绪化的活动。当然这算是迄今为止贝尔推出的最成功的产品了。我认为这是一个非常有意义的行为。至于上至高管下至普通老百姓是否能真正理解这个活动的初衷倒并不重要。重要的是,贝尔正在为一个正确的决策投入资金,就值得为之喝彩!

            精神疾病是个很敏感的话题。即便是在今天,公元2014年,在很多地方这仍然是一个不能谈及的话题。有些人仍旧不好意思告诉别人他们在看精神理疗师。还有些人根本就不敢去看理疗师,不要说是因为别人会看不起他们,就连他们自己都看不起自己。所以这就是为什么很多人(五分之一的加拿大人)最后因为拖延而酿成了更大的精神问题。从所谓的企业角度来说,这样的结果对生产也会造成非常消极的影响。

            没有一个人可以对精神疾病免疫,也不可能从来没有受到过精神创伤,甚至普通的精神瑕疵的困扰。我们只是选择性地忽略了它们而已。就像有些人回避每年一次的年检,或者不想去管一个貌似无碍的顽疾一样。拒绝承认现实是个很好的精神武器,但这往往也会给每个人造成更多的麻烦,因为装作没事并不能真正解决问题。

            我自己年轻的时候曾经经历了一段很困难的时期。因为自己从小就是同性恋而且不敢告诉别人,我根本不知道在这个世上我还有没有活下去的希望。后来我的一个好朋友发现了我的情况而且告诉了我的母亲。可是我母亲发现她根本从我这里套不出一句实话 ,随后她跟我父亲下决心一定要给我找个专业治疗师。因为他们很害怕,根本搞不清楚这一切到底是怎么发生的。我从小就是好学生,而且有很多朋友,只不过他们谁也不知道我内心深处的挣扎。我父母最后给我找了个非常好的治疗师,他真的是活生生地从死神手里把我救了回来。直到现在我都会经常照照镜子,或者掐掐自己,不敢相信自己真的这么有福气。如果不是我同时幸运地拥有了一个好朋友,一对好父母,外加一个好的专业治疗师的话,我不可能这么健康快乐地生活了20年,不可能有这么幸福的生活,不可能拥有这么好的孩子跟丈夫。

            这就是为什么作为一个朋友,一个同事,我们应该对彼此负责。如果我们看到谁有可能深陷困境就应该意识到可能有什么事情发生了。假如我们跟当事人的关系足够亲密的话就应该去问问他们需不需要谈谈,或者问问他们是不是一切都还好。其实有的时候有人聆听有人关怀就是他们最需要的了。不过如果觉得事情真的很严重,以至于超出我们可以帮助的范围,就不要再冒充内行了。如果你觉得你认识的什么人需要找专业人士的话你应该鼓励他们马上去找。一味地靠你自己的力量去帮助他们反而会让事情更糟糕。

            回到贝尔发起的这个活动,其实只要意识到了就是一切。公开交流真的可以让事情变得更好,可以让精神疾病成为一个公众话题,成为主流社会关注的话题。这也说明了我们已经意识到应该像关心身体健康一样关心我们的精神健康。

            我知道经理们经常可以收到例如需要看牙医,看医生,或者别的常见的请假理由。但是有多少经理收到过需要看精神理疗师的请假理由?至少我自己就从来没有收到过。

            这说明歧视还是存在的。作为朋友,家人,同事,或者领导,我们有责任去除这些歧视。

            所以我们要大声呼吁跟支持贝尔的行动。在你的Facebook上放上链接吧, 把这个活动大张旗鼓地宣扬出去,说不定明天需要帮助的就是你自己。

            “每个人都在进行一场不为人知的战斗。要慈悲。永远要。”

            谢谢!更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • 当代同性恋的伟大功绩之一,就是对艾滋病的传播和扩散起到了巨大加速作用!艾滋病刚刚扩散的时候染病人群几乎全是同性恋!专家对此病极为鄙视根本不屑钻研,认为这些人应该自生自灭!后来染病人群越来越多才不得不重视起来,但已经给世界带来灾难!贻害至今... 这真是伟大 太伟大了
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